Slavery commission report (a parody)

Washington| The final report of the Slavery Commission established by Congress in 2017 was released this week. The Congressional Black Caucus formed a 20-member group made up of prominent black politicians chaired by Rep. Maxine Waters, D-Cal.

Every Democrat in Congress and most Republicans had voted for a bill to approve the commission. Rep. John Conyers, D-Mich., has proposed this legislation in every Congress during the past 25 years. The commission was set up to consider reparations to be paid to African-Americans.

Al Sharpton, a member of the commission, said, “It’s a response to the fundamental injustice, cruelty, brutality, and inhumanity of slavery in the United States. We just won’t tolerate it anymore and we want our money.”

Under the bill’s mandates the commission would “examine the possibilities of reparations” and also demand that the U. S. government apologize for the “racial and economic discrimination against African-Americans.”

The commission found that 4 million Africans were enslaved in the U. S. from 1619 to 1865. Members were surprised to learn that nearly all slaves were imported to New England. In Africa they traded rum and cheap trinkets to tribal chiefs who captured other tribes and sold them to the ship’s captains. Arab Muslims were also heavily involved in the slave trade, as they are today.

The executive summary released to the press showed, after examining “the entire history of slavery,” that the U. S. government should apologize for slavery and reparations should be paid to current black citizens.

President Trump said, “We have received the report and will analyze the recommendations. But, I can tell you, it will be a cold day in hell before I will authorize an apology and reparations for slavery that none of us currently living had anything to do with. The buck stops here and so does this stupid recommendation.”

Maxine Waters immediately went on MSNBC and called for Trump’s impeachment.

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About R. E. Smith Jr.

Mr. Smith writes essays and commentary on politics, American history, environment, higher education and culture. He's been published in print media and at blog sites for about 25 years. Smith's formal education includes B.S. and M.S. degrees from the State University of New York and Syracuse University. He has earned a 21-credit hour Certificate in Professional Writing from the University of North Carolina-Wilmington. Training/work experience: NYS Ranger School; U. S. Army, Corp of Engineers; soil scientist and forester with USDA; Assoc. Professor at SUNY; real estate agent; small business owner.
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